Here's a diagram for your model year. #6 is the relay.
yes, i did confirm today that this is the location of the starter enable relay on my 1996 buick lesabre. now how to get to it? here's the trick. i found this youtube video that shows how to access the dash speakers on the lesabre. the thing is, just like the video shows, there are no dash speakers on the 1996 lesabre -- there is just a flat cover over the hole cut for a speaker. now, after removing the top dash cover as shown in the video, it you then pry up and remove this cover plate, the relay can be seen from above, not below the dash, and with a long needle nose pliers, you can remove the nut holding it and pull the relay out on to the top of the dash to cut the wires and short out the relay so that it is out of the loop of the fVATS circuit. now no matter what the VATS does, the starter will still turn over with the ignition switch. [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w8udKTwphY[/ame]