I have no doubt that the fact that my devices are OnePlus factors into this, this android auto kerfuffle is far from the only or first thing that has had me debating switching. This is just the last straw for me, personally.
And to clarify (as I realize I didn't make it clear in the last post,) Carplay worked perfectly for *each* of the 20x attempts, leading me to conclude it's not the ports.
Plug in -> carplay starts up -> unplug works every time, 20x
Plug in -> android auto starts up, head unit crashes/USB Ports disable 20% of attempts
I'm quite sure it's not my cables either; I tried four different of my own and ordered a set of new ones. I was able to reproduce the issue with all of them.